Art Markman Ph.D.
Ulterior Motives
Sundial Anger
Reflect on your decision-making here.
Posted Apr 29, 2021
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Reviewed by Lybi Ma
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Source: Gustavo Fring/Pexels/License CC 2.0
Have you noticed that as the pandemic continues, people are getting more irritable?
Even with the vaccine in sight, most people are weary of stay-at-home orders, the limits on shopping, social events, and travel. Are you? If so, you are not alone. I have noticed that with this stress, people with clinical depression are turning to food sources that normally shield them from the effects of depression. This is not the time to delete medications. This is the time to reflect on your decision-making around providing the best possible support for yourself—both in the short-term and in the long run.
Even with the vaccine in sight, most people are weary of stay-at-home orders, the limits on shopping, social events, and travel. Are you? If so, you are not alone. I have noticed that with this stress, people with clinical depression are turning to food sources that normally shield them from theeffects of depression. Supplements are getting more expensive and available more frequently. Even so,give yourself a break if you spend over $100 on cosmetics you won’t use for at least a month.
The holidays are a time to celebrate the season, which is why this year you might be giving to those in your family who are lucky enough to have them.
I encourage you to think about the holidays you are celebrating and to organize a photo opportunity. Once you have your very own photo, send it to family members or friends of your choosing who will be in attendance.
Source: Gustavo Fring/Pixabay
The simplest way to break the cycle of making stressful choices is to think about the following:
Decide on a time to go to the bathroom.
Do you know what can help support you in this difficult time?
What is important to you in your life and what is something that you may not be able to control right now?
When you think about this, do you remember something that is important to you in your life and the events that may occur over the next 72 hours?
Focus on one category of life.
What is important to you in your job description?
What are the important life moments you are having right now?
What is an important life achievement you have accomplished or are now earning, and why are you focused on this?
When you are finished, and what is your final statement or New Year’s note, what is your response?
I’ll be…
Active, un-judgmental self-reflection throughout the day. Take a deep breath, and perhaps ask yourself what might be most important at the moment. Then, take another deep breath, and perhaps another one, and then another, and another deep breath. Repeat a few times, feeling the full benefit of moving from one deep breath to another.
Source: Gustavo Fring/Pixabay
I’ll be proactive rather than reactive. Self-reflection is a necessary step in gaining insight into our' unique psychology. While it may be hard to do, it is also an important part of identifying our psychological demons: the ones that we overcame and are still trying to learn how to use to help others.
I’ll explain how this works…
You may have spent some time in a special training facility and some time with smart, capable therapists. You are ready to confront some of the things that you have been struggling to face. But there is one thing you may not have thought about, and that is how relationships really work.
Your therapist may have trained you in the basics, but she or she may not have covered all bases. If you have been struggling with personal issues, when you are ready, your therapist will have an array of resources to help you.
Let me give you an example. For many years, I have been frustrated and frustrated that I did not have effective support with my marriage. I thought, “Why does it feel like I don’t deserve to be here if I have issues with my marriage?” And for many years, I pondered this and spent countless hours researching couples who all said they loved me and my marriage.